


Under the Stars I'll Make My Bed

by Kalcifer



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fake/Pretend Family, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29115276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalcifer/pseuds/Kalcifer
Summary: Five times the Chime pretended to be related, and one time Mako took it too far.
Relationships: AuDy & Cassander Timaeus Berenice & Aria Joie & Mako Trig, Cassander Timaeus Berenice/Mako Trig
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Under the Stars I'll Make My Bed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deadmetal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadmetal/gifts).



> Written for @ironchoirs on twitter for Secret Samol! I couldn't decide on a Chime dynamic to focus on so I wrote them all. I hope you enjoy!

Cass and AuDy were in position, which meant it was time for Aria and Mako to do what they did best: make a scene. Cass had offered to give them a script, but they’d been firmly shut down on the grounds that the argument had to feel natural. Aria stood by that opinion, but it did mean she had to come up with the opening shot herself.

She forced down the excitement at getting to dust off her acting skills and smacked Mako’s shoulder. “You’re so annoying!”

Mako picked up the cue instantly, making an affronted noise. “What did I do?”

It was a great question, and not one Aria had an answer to yet. “You’re always like this,” she said instead.

“Like what, myself? Because yeah, that’s kind of how it works.” Mako crossed his arms.

Aria still wasn’t coming up with any good argument topics, which meant it was time for some method acting. “Like a brat, more like. Would it really kill you to let someone else choose the channel for once?”

“Oh, yeah, like you’re one to talk.” Mako rolled his eyes. “It’s definitely not at least as obnoxious when you play your music so loud I can hear it through the walls.”

“Just get headphones!” Aria said.

“Why don’t you get headphones? You’re the one who wants to give yourself a headache, leave the rest of us out of it.” Mako’s brow furrowed. “And actually, how is that different from telling you to use your stupid bracelet if you want to watch TV?”

“The couch is more comfortable. Besides, there’s nowhere convenient for me to put my bracelet in my room so I have to hold my arm up the whole time, and it’s annoying. It’s totally different.” Aria had put thought into this, because unlike some people she was a decent roommate.

“Or maybe you’re just a hypocrite,” Mako retorted.

Oh, it was on now. “If that’s how you feel, you can get your own jackets instead of stealing mine all the time!”

Mako matched her increase in volume, then threw in some more for good measure. “Then you can say goodbye to my nice sunglasses!”

“Fine!”

That was when the museum security guard finally stepped in. “Whoa, okay, slow down now. I know what it’s like with siblings, but I’m going to need you to either calm down or take this outside. You’re disturbing the other guests.”

Siblings? It was better than assuming they were together, Aria supposed, but come on. They didn’t look anything alike.

Mako recovered more quickly than she did. “Only if you tell my  _ sister _ that she isn’t actually a regent, no matter what she thinks.”

“How about you tell my  _ little brother _ that no one cares how clever, quick, or charming he thinks he is.” Aria narrowly resisted the urge to stick out her tongue.

The guard looked between them helplessly. “Once again, I really need you to take it down at least 3 notches.”

Unfortunately for them, Aria had always given her best performances with an audience. “I just wanted to go to see one stupid exhibit, and you can’t even keep your mouth shut for that long?” she demanded.

“No one made you invite me! You could have been all boring and uptight on your own.”

“I only invited you because you were hanging around looking bored. Excuse me for being a good big sister.”

“You don’t need to be excused for something you’ve never been once in your entire life.”

Aria was inhaling to deliver her next devastating insult when Cass’ voice crackled over the comms. “We’re in. You can head back to the ship now.”

Aria was almost disappointed. There would be time to argue with Mako later, though, preferably when they weren’t trying to get paid. She threw her hands up in a huff. “That’s it! I’m done.” She grabbed Mako’s wrist and began pulling him out of the museum. “I can’t take you anywhere.”

Mako just grinned at her. “Isn’t that supposed to be what younger siblings are for?”

* * *

AuDy checked their tie one last time, their only concession to the formality of the event. Aria patted their shoulder. “It’ll be fine, you look great.”

“It’s not the clothing I’m concerned about,” AuDy said. Even for someone accustomed to the Chime’s haphazard approach to planning, this was a bit extreme, Aria had gotten some kind of death threat, and rather than do the sensible thing and hunt down the person who had sent it, she wanted to appear at an awards show to prove that she wouldn’t be intimidated.

The good news was that she had a plus one. The less good news was that the weapons screening was supposed to be incredibly strict. There was no way they were going to rely on that for safety, which meant it was just a nuisance to them.

The information that was not news but was still good was that AuDy, while not technically a weapon, had limbs sturdy enough to shatter bone. It was just a matter of getting them in.

In the interests of starting less salacious rumors, the cover story was that AuDy was Aria’s cousin, who couldn’t attend in person but didn’t want to miss it altogether. AuDy was rather disgruntled that they’d be perceived as human, even indirectly, but they understood the logic behind it.

Aria smiled at them. “Come on, it’s not like anything is going to happen. We’re just going to a fancy party so we can shit-talk the other guests together.”

“I would rather be in a fight than sit through a fancy party,” AuDy said.

Even so, they followed without complaint as she stepped out of the limo. She was swarmed by reporters almost immediately, asking their meaningless questions about outfits and excursions and opinions on the likely winners of the evening. AuDy stood at her side, tuning out the conversation in favor of scanning the crowd.

As a result, it took them a second to notice when the cameras turned to them. “What made you decide to come out and support Aria today, of all days?” some man holding a camera asked.

“Well,” AuDy said. “I am very busy, but I care for my cousin. When she invited me, I accepted.”

A woman with a notebook leaned in and, in a voice laced with saccharine sympathy, asked, “I guess you weren’t prepared for all this commotion, huh?”

“It’s not what I am accustomed to.” They turned to do another look over the crowd, hoping that being visibly distracted would make people stop asking them questions.

It worked, after a fashion. “Your cousin is pretty shy, huh?” yet another reporter asked Aria.

Aria laughed. “Yeah, this isn’t normally their thing. I was surprised they agreed to come at all. I’m glad they did, though. It’ll be nice to sit next to someone who doesn’t know enough to disagree when I complain about the winners.”

There was a round of polite laughter accompanied by a few more camera flashes, and then they were finally permitted to enter the event itself. AuDy stuck close to Aria’s side. She was able to redirect most of the questions aimed at them, and of course if anything dangerous  _ did _ happen they would be in position to protect her.

It didn’t, of course. The only “protection” AuDy provided was against stains, when Aria spilled her drink down her dress and then stole their tie to clean it up. It was good to know they had the skills and usefulness of a coat hanger.

But they otherwise made it through without incident, which meant that AuDy let their guard down by the time they got back to the ship. They didn’t realize the true danger until Mako showed them an article discussing how sweet Aria’s cousin was and how everyone wanted to know more about them. There were photographs. AuDy’s constant proximity to Aria was alternately described as wariness of the crowd, desire not to attract attention, and emotional closeness translating into physicality.

AuDy didn’t particularly care what a group of idiots in the media thought of them. Their chassis certainly wasn’t distinst enough for these rumors to cause problems for them down the line. The Chime, on the other hand, knew exactly who AuDy was, and there was no way they would let them live it down.

AuDy powered down without bothering to respond to Mako. It was best to let everyone get it out of their systems now.

* * *

Mako hated hospitals. They were boring and stifling and you only went when you were hurt, and then you had to stay forever while all your friends went out and did things without you. He never would have gone to one if he hadn’t been unconscious and so unable to stop the paramedics.

But all his bones were back in the right places, so it wasn’t like he needed to be there anymore. He was considering how best to break out when one of the nurses told him his parent had come to pick him up. Mako, who’d last seen his parents at the age of four, had several questions.

Those questions were resolved as soon as AuDy walked into the room. “You came for me!” he said.

“It is time to go home.” After a pause just long enough to be uncomfortable, they added, “Son.”

The nurse looked at Mako, concerned. “Are you sure you should go with them? I mean…”

Mako didn’t know what sort of cover story AuDy had used, which meant his best weapon was going to be melodrama. “What are you insinuating about my parent? They can care for me better than ten of you wretches!” If that accent didn’t convince them to stop arguing, nothing would.

“Right…” The nurse cast one final look at AuDy. “Well, if you’re sure, I suppose that’s fine. Right this way.”

Mako pushed himself out of bed and grabbed AuDy’s hand. “Let’s go!”

Their fingers curled between his, squeezing uncomfortably hard. “Yes.”

Mako hadn’t expected to get away with that one, so he kept his mouth shut until they made it out of the hospital, where AuDy immediately released his hand. He grinned at them, undeterred. “That was great! How did you convince them you were my parent, anyway?”

“I stated that I was and did not allow further questions,” AuDy said.

“So, what, you told them you were my dying parent who had transferred their consciousness to a robot so you could watch me grow up?” Mako considered the possibilities. “Oh, or maybe you found me on the street and your conscience wouldn’t let you leave me there, and then you meant to find someone else to take care of me but by the time you found someone you couldn’t bear to give me up?”

“I told them I was your parent. I did not allow further questions,” AuDy repeated flatly. Sure, that was their default tone, but Mako could tell they meant it this time.

“Where’s your sense of drama?” He shook his head. “Next time you should come to me for inspiration.”

“Next time I’m going to leave you in the hospital.” AuDy crossed their arms, which had the unfortunate side effect of making it impossible for him to reach their hand again.

“You’re so cruel,” Mako said, “I thought parents were supposed to be nice to their kids.”

“It’s a good thing I’ve never acquired a child, then.”

Mako blinked. “Wait. Hold on, this is important, look at me.” He stopped, waiting for AuDy to stop too. When they didn’t, he ran ahead of them to block their path. “AuDy. My friend, my fake parent, my partner in crime. Have you ever actually met a child before?”

“Yes. He’s right in front of me.” AuDy shouldered Mako aside and kept walking.

Mako fell back into place beside them, mind racing. This was even better than being broken out of the hospital. He had to figure out a way to be there the first time AuDy interacted with a small child.

* * *

Aria had been adamant about going to meet their contact herself. All she had to do was dress down, do her makeup differently, and wear a hat, and no one would think to connect her with her pop star persona. And maybe she had gotten the idea from an old EarthHome drama, but as long as it worked, who cared?

And it did work, which turned out to be a problem in its own right. She could escape the spotlight, but it would require far more work to not look like an attractive woman sitting alone at a bar, and her principles wouldn’t have let her be any less anyway.

It turned out that life as an idol might have skewed her ideas about how people interacted in public spaces. Without the protective aura of fame and/or criminal activity, she was seen as available for anyone who was interested in striking up a conversation.

The first time someone offered to buy her a drink, she was flattered. The second time was less charming. Somewhere around the third time in fifteen minutes, she messaged Cass for backup.

She’d mentioned that she was still undercover, so they didn’t burst through the door guns blazing, but it would have been hard to look less comfortable than they did at that moment.

Aria rolled her eyes. Then she stood up and waved them over. “Auncle Cass!”

To their credit, Cass didn’t immediately contradict her. They picked their way through the crowd awkwardly, which gave her time to flash an apologetic smile at her latest would-be suitor. “Sorry, I’m actually visiting my auncle right now. It’ll be the first time I’ve seen them in months, so…”

“I get it.” The woman raised her hands in mock surrender. “Have fun with them, then.”

Aria narrowly clamped down on the urge to say “you too”, wrangling it into an upbeat “Thanks!” By then, Cass had basically made it over to her. She grabbed their hand before they’d even sat down. “Listen, I can’t get in touch with anyone if I’m busy turning down everyone in the bar, so until further notice you’re my auncle. I figure that will make the atmosphere way too awkward for flirting.”

“I’m not that much older than you,” Cass muttered. “And do people really go to bars with their auncles? That sounds terrible.”

“That’s the best part! It’s just far enough removed that people will buy any sort of dynamic between us, but still close enough to make things weird.” Honestly, Aria was just making this up as she went along, but she thought it sounded good. Cass liked overly thought-out plans, so as long as she could convince them this was one they would probably go along with it.

Sure enough, they sighed in the way they had that meant they’d decided it was no longer worth arguing. “Sure, fine, whatever. I assume you’ve also figured out how to convince people to stay away rather than having to explain this every time?”

“Well, I did yell when you came in,” Aria said. “Between that and your general grumpiness, I don’t think we’ll have any problems.”

“What do you mean grumpiness? I’m plenty of fun.” Cass rolled their eyes at the skeptical look Aria shot them. “Not when we’re in the middle of a job, obviously, but I’ve been to parties.”

“Oh, wow, a whole party? Did you even have some,” Aria lowered her voice, “ _ alcohol  _ there?”

“We have literally gone drinking together, you’re not funny.”

They went back and forth in this vein for long enough that Aria nearly missed when their contact finally showed up. No one else came over to bother them, though, so as far as Aria was concerned this strategy was a success. She’d have to keep it in her back pocket for the future.

* * *

Cass was used to the looks they occasionally got when they strayed too far from the central domes. That wasn’t to say they were comfortable with them. Normally. they did what they could to stick to areas where one more Apostolosian wouldn’t stand out.

Today they needed specific medical supplies, though, and they wouldn’t trust any of their teammates to identify the right ones. Assuming, of course, they managed to stay on task in the first place. Given that the whole reason Cass needed new supplies was that Aria and Mako had managed to start a riot that they had then been trapped in the middle of, they weren’t particularly optimistic.

So here they were, trying to ignore the whispers of passers-by as they did their best to decipher their phone’s directions. Their one saving grace was that they’d thought to bring AuDy, who was a master of ignoring anything and everything they didn’t want to acknowledge. Their unshakable indifference gave Cass something to emulate.

It worked well enough, right up until some would-be tough guy who was clearly being egged on by her friends decided to block their path. “You’re really trying to waltz around like you own the place? Oh, wait, you probably think you do.”

Cass gritted their teeth and prepared to shoulder past her, but AuDy spoke up first. “You’re wrong. They aren’t Apostolosian.”

It was a bold enough claim to stop Cass in their tracks. Their family was literally the average Counterweight citizen’s image of Apostolosians, and also they had scales.

The girl was clearly skeptical as well. “So, what, they just got webbed fingers and gills to be fashionable?”

“It is how they were designed. Though our purposes are different, we have the same creator.” AuDy did a remarkable job of appearing to loom without actually moving. “Now get out of our way before I remove you.”

The girl in the lead scoffed, but she looked unsure. One of her cronies said, “They are weirdly stiff for a person.”

Cass reminded themself that this was the outcome they wanted, and so there was no reason to take offense. Even if the way they stood was perfectly normal.

“That’s a dumb way to design a robot,” the ringleader muttered. She glanced nervously at AuDy, and whatever she saw was enough to send her on her way, still grumbling to her friends.

Cass waited until they were a block away before taking another breath. “Huh. I really didn’t think that would work.”

“I am very convincing,” AuDy said.

“Apparently.” Cass frowned. “Where did you even come up with that idea?”

AuDy sounded obscurely pleased with themself. “Aria made me pretend to be human. I’m just returning the favor.”

“How is Aria having a terrible idea my fault?” And why was Aria so into coming up with the cover stories lately, anyway?

“I trust you can find a way to get back at Aria for this on your own time. My job is concluded.” AuDy punctuated their point by setting off again, forcing Cass to follow or get left behind.

Well, whatever. They were grateful for the assist, even if they refused to get involved in AuDy’s weird proxy revenge scheme. If passing your annoyance off on someone else became fair game, the  _ Kingdom Come  _ would be a war zone within the week. Cass had had enough of those during the actual war, thanks.

AuDy should just be thankful they weren’t relying on Cass for medical advice.

* * *

The team had come up with a list of specifications for the hotel room: clear line of sight to the research facility across the street, strong enough Mesh connection for Mako to do some last minute Fogging, stairs nearby for when something inevitably went wrong and they had to rush out. Then they’d checked the hotel’s website and found the rooms most likely to meet their requirements.

It had been nice and smooth, right up until the receptionist looked at them skeptically and said, “I’m afraid that section of the hotel only has double beds.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Mako said immediately, covering for the way Cass had gone still beside him. And then, because he was the dumbest person alive, he turned to them and said, “Isn’t that right, honey?”

Cass let out a strangled noise.

Frankly, Mako agreed, but he was committed to the story now, and backing out could ruin the whole job. He forced a laugh. “They’re still getting used to PDA. New relationship, you know how it is.” Cass was still frozen beside him, so he grabbed their hand. For verisimilitude, obviously.

After a second, they curled their fingers through his.

In front of them, the receptionist smiled. “Aw, that’s sweet. All right, I’ll get you two set up right away.”

Cass stayed quiet through the rest of check in, though they managed to pull their cheeks back in what could almost be called a smile if you’d never seen their real smile before. It wasn’t until the two of them had escaped to the safety of the elevator that their vocal cords decided to work again. “What was that?” they asked, slightly desperately.

“I don’t know, I didn’t want them getting suspicious! It’s not like we’ll be sleeping at the same time anyway.” It occurred to Mako that he was still holding Cass’ hand. At this point, though, letting go would just call more attention to it. It would be better to act like he’d forgotten and let them be the one to pull away. That would keep things from getting weird. He just had to resist the urge to swing their interlocked hands.

And probably to stop thinking about it entirely, since it looked like Cass was saying something, and if he was going to ignore them it should at least be timed so it was funny.

“It’s a hotel on Counterweight, there’s no way we’d be the most suspicious people here even without a cover story,” they said.

“Yeah, but most of those people aren’t criminals.” At Cass’ skeptical look, Mako amended, “Not good criminals, anyway. They don’t care if they look suspicious. We kind of have to.”

“That still doesn’t mean you should invite people to come up with an entire fake backstory for us! That will just make them more likely to remember us.” The elevator doors opened and Cass began to walk out, only to finally notice that their hand was still clasped in Mako’s. They snatched it back with a speed that might have been offensive if he wasn’t so relieved to be out of the awkward zone.

“You’re just mad that the receptionist thought you were adorable,” he said. He raced ahead of Cass, laughing, despite the fact that he didn’t have the key to their room.

Things settled down some as they got set up for the job. Cass had this weird thing about “staying focused” and “paying attention to details” when it came to missions, and as much as Mako enjoyed breaking their conversation, he did have his own stuff to get done.

This was complicated by the fact that the hotel’s Mesh connection was approximately a million years old. “Fuck.”

Cass looked over, their expression hovering on the border of confusion and exhaustion. “What now?”

“I’m going to need to mess with the actual router to get the sort of connection I need.”

Cass sighed. “Well, the whole point of this room was that we’d be close to it. Hopefully we can get it done before anyone notices us.”

The router wasn’t at all hard to get to. Presumably, they counted on its software to protect it, which was laughable. The firewall was so weak he could have hacked it manually almost as quickly as he Fogged it.

He’d just set up his virus and was probing at the machine when he felt his physical body being moved. Blinking back into reality, his back was pressed against the wall, and oh, wow, Cass was standing very close to him. He swallowed.

They must have noticed his stunned expression, because they murmured, “Someone’s coming. You focus on what you’re doing, I’ll make sure they don’t get suspicious.”

“Okay, but you look really awkward just standing there like that.” Then, in a stunning act of self-sabotage, he decided to add, “Try putting your arm on the wall by my head and leaning on it.”

Cass rolled their eyes, but followed his suggestion. Now their face was right by his. He could see the way their scales reflected the shine of the lights, the strands of hair that had escaped their braid to fall past their cheek…

Okay! This was distracting and unhelpful and nothing he wanted to examine very closely. Time to do some nice normal hacking and try to forget the warm fluttery feeling he was getting.

He wasn’t very successful, in large part because the simplicity of the firewall made it useless as a distraction. He had plenty of brainpower left over to think about the position his body was  _ still in _ and the way it would look to anyone who saw them, and the way it looked to him before he’d locked down his brain into rational no-feelings mode.

After all, this was Cass. There was no way they meant anything by it. In fact, they were probably just getting back at him for the hand thing earlier. And if that was the case, there was no way he could let them win, which meant he shouldn’t react at all. Go back to the hotel room and pretend not to pay attention to the mission while still being the most useful member of the team. You know, the hotel room he would spend the next few days in with Cass that only had one bed in it.

A popup alerted him that the upload was complete. Mako jumped, then took a moment to be glad he was still in the Mesh, because that would probably have crashed his face right into Cass’ in reality.

Nope! No, he was not thinking about this, he’d already made up his mind and he wasn’t going to dwell on it any more. Someday he’d bring this up to Cass and they’d both laugh at another failed prank, and everything would be totally normal. Everything was already totally normal.

If he stayed in the Mesh convincing himself of that for longer than strictly necessary, that was no one’s business but his.


End file.
